surrounding myself with who i want to be: putting a philosophy i read on a classroom poster into practice

like most women on the planet, i find myself watching oprah from time to time. last year on one of her shows she featured a panel of people who co wrote a book called the secret. while i found myself cringing at the mystic corniness of it all, i stayed tuned long enough to hear something i had instinctually understood for a long time, that when you focus on the good and surround yourself with positive people, good things will start to happen.

sounds straight forward enough but it's actually harder to achieve than it sounds. especially as a woman. in almost every staff i've been a part of, every workshop i have attended, every gathering of women who've just met, i have noticed that one of the ways that bonds are formed is through the act of complaining. we put the misery in comiserate. in trying to support one another through rough times by listening to one another vent, we almost don't know what to do with ourselves when times are good.

trying to find happiness, then, means that we have to separate and go against the grain in our peer group. i paid for this in my teens when i wouldnt befriend the bitch and sought out friendships outside of my immediate circle. paid for it when i would side with administration because i shared their desire to invest my energy in finding solutions to problems by trying something new instead of shrugging my shoulders bemoaning the things i couldn't change. paid for it when my enthusiastic approach to take on a new initiative threatened the naysayers who don't like change.

all last year i was frustrated by the fact that the reading i was doing and the workshops i was attending which inspired me to blaze a new path in my work was met with disdain and animated opposition by my peers. feared that the vision that was within my grasp would fizzle before it had a chance to spark.

when i took the time to listen more carefully however, i found that there were some others who were frustrated by the negative, defeatist attitude in the room. found that, to my surprise, i wasn't as alone as i thought i had been. found that it just so happened that the same people who were on board intellectually were the same people who i admired on a personal level. liked the way they lived their lives.

after having struggled with trying to come up with a strategy for change that would appeal to all, we decided to go it alone and devote our energy to engaging the minds of those who were open to change.

had our first meeting today and was thrilled to hear suggestions, ideas and solutions being bandied about rather than quips and complaints. such a simple solution. surround yourself with people who want to be there and things will happen. we already have a clear cut agenda for the next two meetings!

am realizing that finding happiness is not so much about rejecting what is bringing you down as it is seeking out what will bring you up.

ironically, just as i was leaving work today, a skip in my step, inspired by the potential that lies ahead, i was faced with the two key naysayers who've actively tried to sabotage my efforts, they made a dig about what i was trying to accomplish and disappeared into their room, glaring oh so subtly.

wonderfully, it didn't phase me at all.