found my wheels spinning tonight when the delivery guy from my neighbourhood's best wing joint dropped off my guilty pleasure.
he's an elderly gentleman-mid sixties at least, who is always winded when he makes it to the fourth floor of my walk up. though winded, he suffers discreetly, shaking his head slightly and raising his eyebrows in a self mocking, smiley kind of way. (don't think me cruel, i've offered to meet him a couple of floors down but he insists he's fine).
there's a gentleness about him that i love. he speaks to me through gestures, a wave of the hand, a tap and a nod in the direction of the receipt. there's no feeling sorry for a man like this. there's history in his hands and a sureness in the way he moves. i trust him.
i find myself strangely confident that we'd get on well together as he taught me to garden or whittle or play bocci or whatever grandfatherly activity he preferred. trust him as if i knew him.
this romanticized notion of my diminuitive man bearing the mouthwatering smelling brown bags was somewhat turned on its head tonight when i saw him with fresh eyes. i have been watching old seasons of the sopranos lately and am totally loving tony's uncle junior. he's funny and warm and straight talking and real. love the way he walks,squints, the way he suffers from being surrounded by fools. anyway, he looks exactly like my delivery guy. same glasses, same pattern of baldness, same habit of gesturing often.
seeing him in this light i wondered if my sweet old guy perception was totally mislaid. maybe he's really crusty by nature, cursing me all the way up the stairs, drawing straws with his middle aged son back at the restaurant when my order comes in to see who would have to climb my everest. maybe the smile is his uniform.
another observation,...he was wearing sandals and socks tonight. never noticed his footwear before. navy plastic sandals and brown socks. footwear you wear around the house cause the heating's acting up or something you'd slip on on your way out to the garden. no editing here for time and place.
complicated man. just like i like 'em.
then again, maybe i am the one who's complicated. maybe i just need to resubscribe to cable and leave the poor guy to his rounds.
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