was just checking in on my lava account to see if i tickled anyone's fancy today and found that someone wanted to chat on instant messenger. feeling open and friendly, i replied.
the end of the conversation left me so bewildered that i thought i'd share it to see what you thought. here it is, copied and pasted, swear to god, couldn't make this stuff up. (know it's a bit unethical but it's for demonstration purposes only and his identity is protected...)
him: hey
me: hey there
him: Hello..........look at my pic
me: saw it, great smile
him: I go right for the jugular, is toronto where you see youself for the long run
me: for awhile at least. i am a pedestrian and love sidewalks and neighbourhoods rather than box stores and car life
him: what do you do professionally
me: i teach, you?
him: MOE
me: i'm going to need abit more than that
him: walkerton
me: ministry of the environment?
him: anyways............you are a pretty lady but get the gut feeling -- you probably are a metro woman --unlikely to leave -- yes - thats correct, right ministry
me: you looking to go suburban?
him: Hamilton is as big as I go, I still would like a family and more rural the better different tastes thats all
me: guess so. wow, you really do cut to the chase, way to filter!
whats the purpose of all the fluff I am not 26 anymore anyhow...........I gotta go............take care Miss Pedestrian there is a life beyond the gta
me: see ya mr. minivan
Can you believe it! All of this took place in literally 30 seconds!! Incredible. 2 questions and i am discarded, at first politely and then with a little barb as a parting gift. "there's more to life..." where the hell does he get off....i lived in sudbury for 5 years for cryin out loud...
his stealthy mode of becoming acquainted totally took me aback. while i also like to get a quick sense of who someone is, i have never dared to be so brazen as to defy social norms and catch and release with such reckless abandon.
his little "MOE" IQ test was hilarious! i literally laughed out loud when i found myself reaching for the keys to type the response as a contestant would on a game show. imagine if i had got it wrong? what kind of exit line would he have used then?
love the way that my being a fan of walking the streets of the city made me unfit for family life. where am i supposed to push the stroller? inside the strip mall?
that's the scary thing about using this inhuman tool for humane exchanges. when you spend the majority of your time using this medium to fill out templates in small boxes, it's sometimes hard to remember that a person is at the other end of the interface and needs the equivalent of a friendly handshake before intimate details are highlighted in the drop down menu.
think i'll stick to stealing glances at attractive men from across crowded rooms without approaching them for the next little while.
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