364 days later i found myself at another wedding. single, wearing black instead of white and seafoam green, drunk and dancing up a storm instead of drunk and delaying the conversation that was inevitable.
i know that life is cyclical but this was weird.
it was like a time delayed, warped version of groundhog day where i got to symbolically overwrite my "this man at my side doesn't love me and we'll never make it to the next level" experience with a new one where i came out feeling that it was a turning point of sorts.
it's odd but even when i was trying on my dress in the store, i felt like i was stepping into a more invigorated self, one that was reconnecting with a spirit that has been on the shelf for longer than i'd like to admit.
sounds flaky and hokey but i have a weird spidey sense like ability to be aware of key "moments" as they are occuring rather than days or weeks later like most normal functioning people on the planet.
decked out in my finery i gave myself permission to drink like dionysis and allowed myself to enjoy the "love vibe" that was flowing in the room rather than be threatened by it.
god love a ritual. nothing like 'em to help you take stock of where you are in the world. needed to take part again instead of bearing witness.
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