i am so comfortable i could cry. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX i have been on vacation for a week but feel like this is the first day that i have truly relaxed. left the hotel this morning. only when faced with a queen sized bed, a kitchen and a place that is already a home, did i realize that until now i still had my workaday game face on. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX as much as i told myself that,given my three week stint, i would treat this as a regular holiday with the sole difference being that it was situated in paris,it has not really worked out that way. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX when you wake up, open the curtains and are faced with sacre coeur in all its mighty grace and are chidingly greeted by a cleaning woman at your door when you wake for your morning pee at 10 am, you haul your ass out of bed and put in a good days worth of sightseeing goddammit. no lounging around watching daytime tv until oprah as you would on holidays at home. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX and so, i found myself structuring my days, assigning myself a different area of paris to explore every day. i would leave at around 10:30 and would not return to the hotel until around 5. then i would try to find something to do in the evenings every other night. you can take a girl out of a structured environment... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX now that i am here, in a real home, cloistered by other apartments, facing the interior of a tiny courtyard i do not have the pressure of paris breathing down my neck, allowing me to breathe and to sleep, read and write privately, rather than in a parisian journal in a park somewhere. i know, you hate me. oh the pressure of paris, yes, how cruel, poor thing, to carry your burden...but i am being truthful. at times i felt like a punished child sent to play outside to get some forced fresh air while the housework was being done. i just wanted to be lazy and sleep in until noon, is that so wrong XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (brief interruption, the computer i am using wonèt let me use an apostrophe or a question mark, quotation marks or the brackets i need to insert spaces in text so i apologize if itès really dense to read) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX i have time now to digest and compose rather than spew. will try to leave travel highlights in the first couple of paragraphs for those of you interested in all things paris primarily. the rest will be the unloading of my brain after a year of insane work. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX oh yes, THE CONCERT! went to see the paris symphony last night at the théatre de chatelet (a theatre that specializes in the presentation of musicals if you can imagine!). it is a gorgeous space next to the seine with five levels of red velvet seating and gold metalwork and lamps festooning the first row of seating throughout. gold leaf adorns the wooden frame of the stage and there is a beautiful mural and chandelier on the ceiling. was a free concert which focused on film themes. the place was packed with music lovers and there was literally not an empty seat to be found. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX among the themes featured were:star wars, legends of the fall, out of africa, harry potter, indiana jones, lawrence of arabia, stargate, cyrano de bergerac and e.t. was absolutely breathtaking. was moved to tears a couple of times. was so evocative and moving. art guarantees survival, remember... the musicians themselves swayed and moved as a group as they played, impossible at times to play such rousing pieces in an impersonal way. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX french horns, oboe and percussion were particularly good. conductor was great. acknowledged soloists and had great enjoyment of music and his players. when it was over the crowd exploded, clapping as though at a soccer match, cheering for sections of the orchestra as though they were rock stars. the overwhelming applause led to not one but two encores which were played to a still full house ten minutes after the show was to be over. do these people appreciate their art or what! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX listening to the new feist album that i brought with me. great to have music part of my day again, dont own an ipod, technology like that will take me at least a couple more years to warm up to. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX going to normandy tomorrow. unfortunately the english tour caters mostly to americans so will most likely only see american cemetary, hope driver will be able to point out some canadiana along the way. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX bon soir.