i am venturing back out on the dating scene after a hiatus and reopened a dormant account on lava. say what you will, i'm not exactly tripping over single men in my circles and i find it's a great way to flex the dating muscle.
anyway, so i am compulsively checking my account to see if anyone else has sent me a smile and a little blue light starts to flash in the instant message portion of the window. panicked, i stopped dead in my tracks. i hate instant messaging, it makes me feel like i am being watched! purely psychological but it creeps me out. i hate the idea that other people know when i am on the site, it's like being caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
so this guy writes that he likes my smile and before i have time to click on his name to see what he looks like he's added a new line of text: "do you date guys that are 46?" granted, i'm in my thirties but it still felt like my grandad was asking for a poke and a tickle!
freak show that i am, i closed the window and opened up this one instead. a welcome safe haven from watchful fortysomething eyes. (nothing personal forty somethings, it's a stupid hang up)
can't believe how years of experience still haven't quashed the freak out factor when it comes to handling creepy advances. well advances is a little strong but you get the idea.
so far, the range of men who've responded is really varied. i've got the corny romantics, the faceless computer programmers, some random guy from the states (come on!!) and one who also likes to read Dave Eggers-one of my favourite authors. must admit felt a twinge of hope when i read that one. i returned his smile calmly and confidently. nice to see some potential among the craziness.
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