i say this because i had a shitty encounter with a colleague today that put a pall on an otherwise really successful workshop i led that i had put a lot of thought and effort into. thought instead of just waxing philosophic about it that i would borrow from mr. bukowski and turn it into a poem. (
it's friday and we're all in jeans
we look like people again.
a group forms around the food table.
the naturally skinny are going for the muffins and the
self-conscious and health-conscious pick at slices of melon.
i'm reading over notes, checking to see that packages are in order.
i'm keen but wear it as honestly as the slackers openly checking their blackberrys.
start the spiel and most eyes are on me
feigned interest from some,
genuine curiosity from others.
still talking and have only heard a few sidebar comments
pretty good considering there's often open disdain.
questions come, hit em out of the park
we're on our way and working
i'm in the clear-
or so i think...
am buzzing with the flow of productive, complicit professional activity
and run head on into an active resistor whose out to stick it to the man.
announces, "i don't need to do this"
i wait
i've seen this before
thirteen fucking people are going along with it but somehow she's immune.
"i got what i need out of the information," she says, "do i really have to do all of this?"
i wait
i outline the point of the exercise again
"so what are you saying, i have to do this?"
yes
walks away and grumbles loudly about the futility of
the exercise
gradstanding now
"you know, if you're going to do this, you really need to.."
you fucking bitch ass whore
the mantra running continuously in my mind as she spends the next hour
trashing my preparartion, mocking the work
one.
one freakin squeaky wheel
sucking the life blood of all things positive.
want to give it to her
ghetto style
but turn on my heel to go back to the buzz of the
quiet converts.
So it's not great, really need to edit it but you get the idea. wanted to be a bit more straightforward but caught myself going imus on her and thought it a bit melodramatic. just wanted to testify to the teeth clenching moment where you want to bite the head off the smartass that's out to sabotauge for the sake of it. wanted to capture a sense of how much it sucks to have hard work get overshadowed by somebody else's agenda.
